Being the best guesser is on a par with being the best kisser because they both leave a lasting impression, but being the best guesser differs because it’s also a survival tactic and the best way to combat what I like to call, Second Guessing Syndrome. You know what I’m talking about because we’ve all fallen into that vortex at some point and wondered, “What if I had….. blah, blah, blah.” Fill in the blank with the name of an old boyfriend, or a career path, or a trip, or an education, or the time you took the taxi uptown instead of downtown. You get the point. There are so many forks in the road that you can drive yourself crazy wondering “what if” all the time.
So how do you get to acceptance and ignore all those other options-not-taken so you can arrive at acceptance and open your creative flow to something new?
Here’s what works for me. I sometimes let myself roam into the ‘What If’ landscape just long enough to take a look. Then I notice if there’s anything that really speaks to me. It’s usually an old boyfriend. Whatever it is for you, snuggle up next to it for just a few moments, long enough to remember the path not taken and close enough to recognize what didn’t fit right the first time.
Then step back into your present life. Notice something new around you or get something to eat that you really love and taste it thoroughly or listen to a song that moves you. I like to listen to the song, ‘Tell ‘em I’m a Good Kisser’ by Lake Street Dive when I’m in this mood. Then I decide that I’m the best guesser about my own life. I still believe in intuition and fate, but I also know that so many of my decisions were guesses (educated or not).
There is no twelve-step program or elaborate treatment for Second Guessing Syndrome, so you just have to decide and tell yourself that you are the best guesser. Be determined in your conviction and set a timer so you don’t spend too long in the ‘What If’ landscape. Every time you second guess yourself, explore your own longings. The answer is usually inside your heart, not in the past with a missed opportunity.
You can tell yourself that you’re the best kisser too!
Painting by Wendy Walker Silverman at Tinney Contemporary, Nashville, TN